eleven things. the best pre-IM advice.

I had the above printout posted by my desk for the many months leading up to my first ironman. it stayed there well after my race (actually, until they moved me last week...over a year after my ironman). it's pretty much the best "advice" anyone gave me before IMFL (passed along by a teammate...I can't recall where he got it). I've re-posted it by my new desk, but wanted to share it with everyone.

missing: motivation.

I can't deny it any longer: I'm REALLY having difficulty drawing much enthusiasm for my Ironman training.

I feel kind of sacrilegious writing that, but it's true; my motivation is lacking. I checked my Coeur d'Alene countdown on Facebook yesterday. it nearly made me cry. yes, I'm putting in the workouts. yes, I don't "super suck" at any of three disciplines (not that I excel at all of them). yes, I'm moving myself from the road to the trainer to the pool...but it's just not there this time around...the excitement.

I can pinpoint several things that are making it difficult during this go:

1. it's winter.
2. I hate the bloody trainer.
3. I have yet to have a single ride that has felt even remotely good.
4. have I mentioned I hate the bike?
5. I'm doing nearly all my training by myself.
6. I'm tired. I feel like my body hasn't fully recovered from my 3rd meeting with mono nor the b12 deficiency.
7. I just want to be running...fast.

blah, blah, blah...right? I wish I could just tell myself to suck it up...but I haven't found that meanie within me just yet.

right about now you might be wondering why in the world I signed up for IM #2. yeah, I am too. I guess I wanted to try my hand at the distance when I wasn't in grad school, working full-time and juggling a long distance relationship (that was a juggle). so I took the crazy leap (again) and paid my $576 to active.com last June. reality hit in December when the training plans started rolling into my inbox. 'shit, I've got train for this thing again!'

I know I won't regret my decision to go another 140.6 when I cross that absolutely wonderful finish line come June 27th, but on February 8th, I'm struggling. So, for now...come on motivation—I'm missing you madly!

to settle: a dirty verb. or my best friend?

a couple words in the english language make me shudder with fright: average, normal, boring, milky and moist, among many others. none, however, scare me more than a seemingly innocent verb: to settle.

I've been thinking about this word a lot lately, perhaps because I feel as though I'm in a bit of transition period in life. while certain things are very solid, others are in a bit of flux. naturally, my always racing thoughts send me down memory lane.

in reality, there's no reason to fear "settling." I never have. my freshman year of college—despite kicking ass on my cc team—I chose to transfer because the school wasn't right academically. I didn't settle.

after returning to ohio to complete a second undergrad degree, I built myself a bit of resume by working at a couple good companies, but I had to get back to NYC to get my MA at a school I always wanted to attend: NYU. so I found myself a job, got myself into grad school and moved back. I didn't settle.

one of the hardest decisions in my life came when I was faced with a question that should often brings extreme joy rather than extreme confusion: will you marry me? I took a year to answer and ultimately gave back the MOST beautiful diamond ring to a man I knew I just wasn't in love with anymore. I didn't settle.

I didn't settle when I hated (yes, hated) the job I took during my first year back in NYC; I got a new one. I didn't settle after needing to walk nine miles of the 2007 Chicago "heat wave" marathon because of a stomach infection and mono (didn't know I had the latter until post-race); I came back three weeks later to finish another hour faster in the NYC marathon.

And I'm not settling now as make another change in my career; whatever comes next is sure to be a great next step.

thus, I think I can stop fearing "to settle" and see it as a friend. I wouldn't be where I am today without it.