Friday, February 5, 2010

to settle: a dirty verb. or my best friend?

a couple words in the english language make me shudder with fright: average, normal, boring, milky and moist, among many others. none, however, scare me more than a seemingly innocent verb: to settle.

I've been thinking about this word a lot lately, perhaps because I feel as though I'm in a bit of transition period in life. while certain things are very solid, others are in a bit of flux. naturally, my always racing thoughts send me down memory lane.

in reality, there's no reason to fear "settling." I never have. my freshman year of college—despite kicking ass on my cc team—I chose to transfer because the school wasn't right academically. I didn't settle.

after returning to ohio to complete a second undergrad degree, I built myself a bit of resume by working at a couple good companies, but I had to get back to NYC to get my MA at a school I always wanted to attend: NYU. so I found myself a job, got myself into grad school and moved back. I didn't settle.

one of the hardest decisions in my life came when I was faced with a question that should often brings extreme joy rather than extreme confusion: will you marry me? I took a year to answer and ultimately gave back the MOST beautiful diamond ring to a man I knew I just wasn't in love with anymore. I didn't settle.

I didn't settle when I hated (yes, hated) the job I took during my first year back in NYC; I got a new one. I didn't settle after needing to walk nine miles of the 2007 Chicago "heat wave" marathon because of a stomach infection and mono (didn't know I had the latter until post-race); I came back three weeks later to finish another hour faster in the NYC marathon.

And I'm not settling now as make another change in my career; whatever comes next is sure to be a great next step.

thus, I think I can stop fearing "to settle" and see it as a friend. I wouldn't be where I am today without it.


Anonymous said...

never settle ! good luck with your future

Anonymous said...

So glad that I have found your blog - I am really enjoying catching up and reading through your previous posts.

With Boston approaching - I may reach out to you to pick your brain a bit about the best pre-race plan to deal with the delays as well as those Newton Hills.

As for your latest post - good luck with the decision - I think you are spot on continuing to chase after exactly what you want. If I've learned anything about helping my friend through his battle with cancer - it is that life is precious - "going for it" is the way to approach it all.

Best from Austin,


sarahKayhoffman said...

Eissa - you are amazing! I am so glad to have found your blog. This post made my heart happy and at ease today (and that's GREAT because I'm about to tackle 10 miles, which I haven't done in several months!). Anyways, I'm not sure if you ever read this posting of mine (Reinventing Your Life), but it made me think of this posting as I was reading yours! If you have time for it I think you'd enjoy:)

I'd sure love to make Boston with you someday!

Happy Sunday!