finally 2011. (+ a new post)

I have mentioned this to several people over the last several months. and it's evidenced by the date on my last post (april 4th): I've lost my writing mojo. I didn't even post about my second ironman! yeah, bad...

I attribute this malaise to one thing only: my job. it has destroyed my confidence for and love of writing. really sad for someone who used to love putting pen to paper. now it just makes me cower (not to mention wake up nightly with horrific work dreams.)

but that was 2010...a shit year in A LOT of ways. I am not, however, going to dwell on that here. this post is about the best of last year. and a look forward to the new year...because it is going to be and HAS to be better than the last year.

so...goodbye 2010. we didn't get along, but I didn't let you steamroll me either...I fought back and can say with fondness that I showed you who was boss more than a few times. my favorites:

-kicking mono, a b12 deficiency + a minor knee injury in january
-learning to ski in february. I'm not great, but I adore it...another expensive hobby.
-making it through the madness of march. aka indoor ironman training. TOUGH.
-forgetting about april. it was an ugly month.
-conquering my ironman training in may while switching jobs.
-becoming an ironman AGAIN in june despite hypothermia after the swim and some trying moments on the bike (killed the run...would you think otherwise?)
-july was uneventful. nothing to see here.
-turning 30 in august with a smile on my face despite being on an island off of maine with no luggage and sans my beloved running shoes.
-running a surprisingly solid half marathon (1:30:58) in september despite thinking I wasn't that fit.
-not quitting my job in october when I really thought I couldn't take anymore of the sexual harassment. PLUS finally paid off all my credit card debt (nearly $7k-- all done in 2010)
-dominating the NYC marathon (3:18) in november despite being horribly ill for days before.
-making sure I made it to the new year with my sanity intact in december.
-ending the year with great mileage totals: 3875 swim.bike.run total. 48 miles of swimming. 2395 miles of cycling. 1417 miles of running.
-having a really awesome best friend and bf by my side. he has definitely been one of my favorites of the year.

so see ya 2010...I totally beat you at your own game...and hello 2011.

a few goals to get me moving into the new year:

1. it almost goes without saying: new job. pronto. I've been working hard at this for months...hoping I secure something in january.

2. ski! it's hard, but I love it. looking forward to a number of fun days on the slopes in the northeast and hopefully at least once out west.

3. run a great boston marathon: this will be the first time in YEARS and YEARS that I have the opportunity to focus solely on running. no coaching. no grad school. no ironman. nothing but being smart, getting fast and smoking boston. goal is sub-3:10 and I am more than confident that if I put in the training, I will have no trouble.

4. pay off debt that someone else accumulated in my name. I could go into detail, but I shouldn't because I need to remain positive. (let's just say I learned the hard way that lending money to a family member is a bad idea.) regardless, with her help I should have it paid by june. hallelujah.

5. start saving and investing...it seems like I'm late to the party at 30, but when you pay your way through three degrees, you don't always have a lot of money left over. 2011 is my year to kick start something for the future.

6. maybe do a 1/2 ironman. but this isn't do or die. I want to save money by not racing the expensive ones, so this pretty much rules out a 1/2 iron. otherwise, maybe have fun doing a few sprint or olympic tris at harriman...cheap and close!

7. celebrate my 10th anniversary of marathon running by returning to columbus (hometown) to run the same course as my first (october 21, 2001). also would like to be aiming to run sub-3:05.

8. I would be thrilled to get engaged. nick is truly my one (after being engaged before and then giving back the ring to the guy I knew wasn't right, I feel like I know this time).

9. just.be.happy. not sweat the small stuff. spend more time with friends. laugh a little more. cry less. cry a lot less. embrace the bumps. gain confidence. take life less seriously.

happy 2011 all...

21st "official" half marathon: speedy legs where are you?

dear queens 13.1,
I had a blast...thanks for the great race. I am, however, looking for one set of lethargic legs. did you find them out on the course? let me know.
thanks.

indeed, despite my lack of leg speed and overall disappointment in my time, saturday's 13.1 marathon was truly a wonderful event.

a few odds and ends from the day:

I was leery to find out that there were no corrals, but was able to line up quite close to the front and the race thinned quickly and I was left with a broad path in which to pass (and be passed).

I also had my reservations about the course beforehand (the map online was downright dizzying), but it too proved to be lovely: easy turns, well-marked, scenic and varied enough that I never got bored.

after some difficulty locating bag check (signage people!) and finding a bathroom (gross underestimation of the number of port-a-pots needed), I miraculously got to the start on time...even to see the 5k begin before us.

I had no nerves for the race, because I had no expectations...of course once the gun went off, my competitive spirit kicked in.

I went out a wee bit too fast, but tempered my pace and started to cruise. I tweeted, I talked to fellow racers, I enjoyed the scenery (beautiful!). around mile seven, the pack really began to thin, so I kept my eyes on the women I could spot in front of me (and the men) and just kept moving forward.

I had the pleasure of enjoying a little mud running between miles eight and nine. after this fun diversion, I will admit that I began to look forward to hitting the last three miles (yes, lethargic legs...I hate you).

at mile ten I saw my coach...he told me to "go fishing" so I did...I began picking off a couple people at a time...mile eleven I was still hanging on and trying to catch a few guys in front of me. by mile twelve, I had no legs left in me. at this point my morale also fell...why was I running so "slow?" it was defeating...and then I couldn't wait to be done.

I thought for sure my pace would yield sub-1:36...I was on it...until my head interfered. the last stretch I gave it a little added umph...and across the line I came...in 1:36:03. boo.

I said hi to a few friends post-race, but I was tired (I admit, I stayed up past 1am entertaining and drinking the night before), so I took off, definitely downtrodden. just a year ago I was running 1:31 with the same effort...what happened?

I know, I know...I'm training for an Ironman and I'm exhausted...and I didn't exactly give myself an easy week (hello 40 mile hill workout on thursday). but I'm hard on myself...

my dad called to hear my race stats...they really weren't bad...average pace was 7:19 and I finished 10th woman overall (out of 1455) and 3rd in my age group (and I didn't stay for the awards...silly me! hopefully they'll mail whatever they handed out). in a field of 2544, I was 76th overall, so my time might have sucked, but I raced hard and it was a really solid effort.

all this said, if they hold this event next year when I will only be focused on running, I'll be back...it's a great course...and a great one to attempt to win.

so thanks 13.1...I wish it would have had more of a "party on the pavement," but here's to another stab at it.

I get to race? really?

yes, I finally get to put these race-deprived, bike-leaden legs to the test next weekend.

as some of you might know, my coach "banned" me from not only racing, but simply running a marathon this spring so I would concentrate more of my energy on the bike for IMCDA. I was more than a bit miffed when he delivered this news and have considered (often) disobeying and running one behind his back.

alas, with all the expenses related to Ironman training/travel/racing, I decided to heed his "no marathon" mandate and focus on a few half marathons.

my first is next saturday and I'm giddy with excitement because I not only get to race, but I also get to participate in an inaugural event: the 13.1 Marathon® New York.

I stumbled upon this race when I was searching around for an inexpensive, easy-to-get-to races in the area. I liked that it wasn't another race in central park (I love you NYRR, but I can only do the loop-de-loop so often)—it's being held in flushing meadows park, queens—and it starts "late"-- 9:13AM! the icing on the cake? packet pick-up is downtown—close to home—or on race day at the event site (again, I love you NYRR, but trekking to the UES is a pain in the butt). I was sold.

after registering, I realized there was a double layer of icing on the cake...the 13.1 Marathon® New York benefits World Vision, an unique org committed to raising funds and awareness for children and communities in Africa. 

you may or may not know, but I spent countless seasons fundraising and mentoring with Team In Training, an endurance program that benefits the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. as my MA thesis reared its ugly head last year and my life took on more and more demands, I realized I needed to give up something for the time being...that something was TNT.

regardless, running for a cause is extremely important to me...if I can use my running talent to help the world, I'm all for it. thus you can see why I was stoked about the World Vision association. plus, no fundraising minimums (key, as I have tapped out nearly all my outlets for awhile).

so there you have it...I get to race a great event and I get to do it for a cause...what more could this girl ask for? (friends to join me! if you want to sign up, click here...prices go up after sunday, so don't wait). 

100% cheery

I've said it before and I'll said it again: my blog isn't always about happy go-lucky topics...but such is life...and that's what I write about a lot...life.

that said, there are a lot of things in my life to be happy about, thankful for, appreciative of...so without further ado and in no particular order, my 100% cheery list (this is for you amarathoner_com...and me):

-my handsome, sweet, caring boyfriend who is not only a great "roommate" but a great friend

-my curls...while I can make my hair pin straight, I love the freedom and wackiness of the curls I inherited from my mom

-my apartment (and building)...it's a sanctuary...I am so very thankful to call it home

-my friends...they make me laugh, they listen to me rant, they all-around rock

-my Twitter friends...I could not be more thankful to have had the opportunity to get to know soooo many wonderful, wonderful people via Twitter...and then to meet & become friends with some of them "in real life"...with many more to meet in the future...thanks for inspiring me everyone!

-patience...life requires a lot of this...I'm thankful that I can—most often—let life ebb and flow while being patient until the still water comes

-smarts...I'm thankful that I've been gifted with good gray matter

-determination and perseverance...I've got a lot of both...I'm so thankful 'cause I need them both...a lot!

-a strong, healthy body...I swim, I bike, I run...a lot...sometimes all in one day...I'm so thankful to have the ability to do so...and do so well

-fleet feet (and legs)...I am so grateful for my running "talent"...for the opportunity to participate in and enjoy my "first love" as often as I can...and it's really cheap therapy!

-bourbon...I had to put this in here...such a great spirit (and spirit-uplifter)...must be consumed in moderation, however...and never while writing your MA thesis at 2AM in your bed (like last summer...you can probably guess what happened when I fell asleep holding the glass)

-my dad...even though he stresses me out and makes me worry about him endlessly, he's the best dad...EVER

-trying new things...this winter I learned to ski...and LOVE it...I will be out on the slopes early next winter

-being a budget superstar...NYC is not cheap...and neither are my new grad school repayment amounts...thus I've become a crazy budget-er...and I'm even starting to save some for an IRA (I know, I should have started awhile ago, but that's what you get for paying to acquire three higher ed degrees)

-a job...while my current pursuit is less than exciting, I have a job...a lot people do not...I am thankful (even when I bitch and moan)

-my 5'11" height...I love been tall despite the dumb comments people make when I wear heels (which I also love to do!)

-cheese...I'm sure my cholesterol is abnormally high for a skinny athlete because I truly do eat that much cheese (ANY type)

-support...from all sources in my life...you all keep me strong!

I could go on and on and on...you see, I have so very many things to be happy about and thankful for...this is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg...thus to many more 100% cheery posts.

I am not a good cyclist. nor ever will be.

stop right there (for all who are ready to refute this post based on the title) and hear me out.

some are blessed with the ability to kick butt on two legs (me) and some are blessed with the ability to kick butt on two wheels (not me).

for the most part, I'm ok with this. I LOVEEEEE running (duh) and I wouldn't trade my love for it for anything. there are, however, times (say when I'm training for an Ironman, as in right now) that I just want to be a good cyclist. not just ok (which I am), but good.

I wrote a post several weeks back titled, "it's all about the bike. or is it?" if you read it, you know about my struggles with the bike. after penning that post, I sent my coach an email desperate for advice on how to get better on the bike. his response was as expected: time on the saddle. he also added the following:

"Don't compare your running skills to your biking skills, just not fair! You can become a better biker, but chances of being as good as you are a runner are not too optimistic...you need to be realistic and know that you are a runner -who needs to become strong on the bike-to kick butt when the run starts on IM day."

ok, I agree...I'm not going to ride like I run. ever. but still, it completely bums me out when I ride with my team and about the only butt-kicking I'm doing is on the uphills ('cause I'm light).

so once again I am adjusting my attitude. yes, I have to work a lot harder than others to even try to keep up, but I need to remember that at the end of the day, I'm doing this race for me.

thus from this day forth, I'm going to make IMCDA a personal celebration of all that I have accomplished in my nearly 30 years (in August!). no more bad attitude. no more being hard on myself. no more bellyaching. I am an Ironman and will be once again—regardless of time or place—on June 27th.

so here I come CDA...

"for dad, grandad and diabetes" -- marathon no. 2 -- june 21, 2003

It's fairly accurate to say that I was a bit scarred—mentally and physically—from my first marathon, hence the year+ gap between events.

after my marathon debut, I experienced IT band problems that put me out of commission for quite some time. I also decided to focus a lot of my energy on cycling (then-bf was a semi-pro cyclist) and completed the seven day RAGBRAI (Regent's Annual Great Bike Ride Across Iowa) in the summer of 2002 (a must-do event...a complete blast).

I knew my promise to "never run another marathon" wouldn't last, though. thus, when I started fishing around for marathon no. 2 ideas, I stumbled across a flyer for the Central Ohio Diabetes Association (CODA) advertising their "Team Diabetes" marathon group. my father had been diagnosed with type 2 the year before and my grandfather had passed away due to complications from the disease. I knew I had to sign up (plus the event was in Hawaii...hello!).

the $5000 fundraising minimum scared me (I don't do well at asking for money), but I knew the many generous people in my life would be supportive. I'm a writer so I figured a letter would be my first plan of attack (see above). and whoa, was it a success. at the time, I also worked at a restaurant to augment my just-out-of-school salary. many of my regulars were also so giving. by the time the june fundraising deadline rolled around, I was golden: over $5k in my account. sweet!

so how did that whole 26.2 training part go this time around? well, while the CODA was great at providing fundraising support, umm, training support? no so much. thus what did I do again? I found my way to runnersworld.com and that dear old beginners schedule. witness below how I keep track of all my training. such a nut!

training went seamless and I went into race day fairly fit. I also went into this 26.2 a lot smarter: I had a race plan and more than one Gu! I, however, was not the focus. I was doing this race for my dad and my late granddad aka Sport. race morning I wrote their names on my quads so I could look down and be reminded why I was running.

they weren't they only ones I was journeying for though. the pre-race pasta party stories left me completely awestruck—and absolutely inspired. so many of the people ready to run the next day were diabetes sufferers...running marathons in large part due to insulin pumps and other advancements made possible by funds like the $5k I had just raised. story after story left me more and more excited to be a part of this great organization—and to be helping so many in as many ways as possible.

naturally, I was pumped on race morning and ready to rock the course. I knew I was running the legendary Ironman Championship marathon course and I wanted to do it proud. as the race was in June, we started early—6am I believe—in order to avoid much of the day's soon-to-be scorching heat. the sun rose quickly (nearly the longest day of the year) and we were spared little. as we headed out to the notorious "energy lab"—aka black lava rocks EVERYWHERE—the temperature rose quickly. by the time I reached halfway, it was over 100F and rising. the blacktop and clear day were only making it hotter.

I rarely have problems with heat, but the day proved to be a tough one for me. I did everything to stay cool, but I knew I wasn't having my best day. no worries. I kept smiling at the wonderful volunteers and talking to many of the runners I encountered. I was here for daddy and Sport and so many others; whatever my time, the day would be a success.

after 4 hours 6 minutes and 29 seconds of pounding the kona pavement, I crossed the finish line exhausted, but elated. mission accomplished. 6th in my age group. 29th female. that would do. plus, this time I was ready for another. bring on marathon no. 3!

"rookie" -- marathon no. 1 -- october 21, 2001

after I stopped competing collegiately, I knew it would only be some time until I tried my hand at the marathon distance. I really can't recall why I decided to run my first. maybe it was because I was about to turn 21. maybe it was because I was bored with racing piddly races. maybe it was just to say I had finally done 26.2?

regardless, I do remember scouring runnersworld.com for a beginner marathon plan. and I do remember putting in some serious miles for it (some with my then-bf russ, an AMAZING athlete). but truly, that's all I can remember. until race day. I actually don't even remember the start line. was there bag check? no clue. what was our plan? no clue. I do, however, recall approaching mile seven...and we were cruising! were we going too fast? no clue.

russ and I separated somewhere around mile 15. he was feeling strong so I sent him off. no worries. I was fine. until mile 18.

oh, mile 18. this is when it donned on me that maybe I should have the chocolate Gu I brought along. I hadn't thought to take in any calories (other than gatorade) until mile 18? I know, absurd.

I remember "climbing" the one hill that the Columbus marathon is known for...and then bonking, badly. I took the Gu in an effort to revive myself. and while it give me a bit of energy, my fatigued stomach hated it. no, I didn't throw up...I'm not that kind. I just kept going...in total misery. I hit mile 21 and met a guy who was super chatty...he exclaimed (yes, exclaimed) that this was his 2nd marathon that month. I couldn't believe anyone would do such a thing! (yeah, umm, I've never done that before..."snicker"). he bid me farewell and I keep plugging on.

I was hell bent on not walking. and I never did...until I crossed that beautiful finish line. my time-3:24:37-meant nothing to me. BQ time? what was that??? oh, how naive.

the most significant part about that day--other than finishing--was a few hours later. nauseous, sore and unsure what to do with my destroyed body, I was laying on the floor my apartment just "being." I hadn't seen my bf after. neither of us had a plan as to how we were getting home, so we had each hitched rides back with random friends who had been spectating. he called me once he was home and showered, "that completely sucked," he said. I replied, "I know." I think I also added that I was never, ever doing it again. (hah!) tell that to the girl that sits here typing this.

so there you have it. marathon no. 1. columbus, oh. october 21, 2001. 3:24:47. 18 more recaps to come.